A lot on my mind...

Just a forewarning: This post is a little bit of me with a splash of some real-life transparency, and not the normal light-heartedness that is flowing in most of my posts. So, if you're not in the mood to read something other than the normal I understand! Ok, with that said, here it goes...
Well, normally I feel pretty excited to share with you some new photos - a cool story - something. But I have been dreading this moment, in a way, because it is making me share something with you that I feel I am just now getting over! This past weekend, we were invited to a bbq at some friend's house. They had the coolest backyard any kid would die for; in ground pool, huge play set, in ground trampoline - they had it all! So, of course the biggest attraction for our boys was indeed the pool, since they are practically fish babies we decided that swimming was going to be a must at this shindig. There were about 8 other couples there with little ones, so it was definitely a full house! Great food, great conversations, great setting - it really was all pretty great, until our little peanut fell into the pool - without anyone noticing. I was standing right at the edge of the pool, talking with a friend - husband was on a different side of the pool talking with the "guy group", and all of the sudden I see one of the other mom's running toward the edge of the pool - softball sliding on the ground, throwing her hands in the water, and next thing I know (I keep seeing this in slow motion in my mind ALOT!) she is pulling my little peanut out of the water! Talk about tramatization!! Probably more damage was done to my mind than our little one's mind/body, because he was fine - a little shaken up, but praise the Lord he was fine. What blows my mind, is how quickly something like that happens, and in an instant your life changes. You become more precautious, maybe even more protective, and for me I became fearful. For a good few days after words I couldn't stop playing the tape over and over in my mind - and thinking of how I messed up as a mom! I wasn't there for our little guy, and he could have drown in that lovely pool that day. This is one of 2 incidents in the Kinney Clan history with our boys that has confirmed in my heart that God has MANY guardian angels surrounding these little ones because he has something big planned for them! But, you know, hard as that experience was for all of us - it really brought back to my mind the simple phrase from a Beth Moore "Breaking Free" study I just did that asks the question; "is freedom in Christ a reality in your life?" I had finished the Bible study course, I had answered honestly all of the answers, but in an instant because of a accidental circumstance, I was dragged back into the pit of fear- where the only way out was the freeing truth that only Christ can give. Being out of control, especially when it comes to your kids is a scary feeling. Being out of control with your emotions can sometimes be even scarier! I really think husband was beside himself at knowing what to do with such a blubbering wife for a couple of days. But, through the fog I saw my savior. He was just standing there, ready to hold me and tell me that he has already been there, done that, and that he has already conquered the world - so why worry, or fret? So, in closing to this novel of a post, I am confident in saying that I have learned a few key things the past few days. (a) Never leave your eyes off of your child while at a pool party... (b) get our boys some swimming lessons asap! (c) allow Christ to use our hard experiences to help mold us into healthier, happier, more effective people living lives of abandonment to Him. I hope that someone found this post and has been able to apply it to their lives in some meaningful way! Otherwise, it felt really good to get that off of my chest :)